


Oh Christmas Tree

by ereshai



Series: Check, Please! 12 Days of Christmas 2016 [1]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Check Please 12 Days of Christmas, Christmas Tree, Day 1: Choosing/Decorating a Christmas Tree, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-12
Updated: 2016-12-12
Packaged: 2018-09-08 03:45:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8829142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ereshai/pseuds/ereshai
Summary: It's time for a yearly Haus tradition.





	

“What about this one?” Holster pointed off somewhere to Ransom’s right.

“No.” Ransom kept walking down the hard-packed snow path.

“You didn’t even look at it!”

“If it’s anything like the last three you wanted, it’s about two feet too fall to fit in the Haus.”

“Come _on_ , Rans. This one is ‘swawesome.” Holster stopped and pointed insistently at the tree.

Ransom turned and gave it a good long look. “Bro, it _is_ a ‘swawesome tree. And it won’t fit in the Haus. Moving on.” He turned back around and kept walking.

“I thought picking out a Christmas tree would be more fun than this. All those Christmas specials on TV lied,” Holster grumbled.

“You didn’t have to come along, bro. This isn’t even your holiday.” Ransom paused, then turned down a smaller, less well-lit trail.

“Bros don’t let bros cut down trees on their own. And if I’m going to be looking at a Christmas tree every day for weeks, I want to make sure it’s a good one.”

“That’s fair.” Ransom held his fist up over his shoulder and Holster bumped it with his own.

A few minutes later, Ransom stopped. “There,” he said, pointing at a small perfectly formed pine tree.

“I don’t know,” Holster said. “I feel like most of the team shouldn’t be taller than the tree.”

“It’s symmetrical, which is important, and even better, it won’t take as long to cut down because it is a little smaller than average. It’s perfect.”

“It’ll be taller than Bitty, at least. Let’s do this.”

*

“Are you _sure_ we’re supposed to pick out a tree?” Dex asked for the tenth time. “Because I thought I heard Ransom say-“

“Lardo specifically told me to come here and pick out a tree,” Chowder said. “She and Bitty were going out to buy decorations. And more butter. And eggs. Oh! Do you think Bitty would bake a key lime pie for Farmer? It’s her favorite.”

“The real question is could you stop Bitty from baking a key lime pie for Farmer? Just text him.” Nursey said. “So. This tree farm is… shady.”

Dex looked at him suspiciously. “…right. The ten dollar trees are over there,” he said, pointing. “Lardo really only gave you ten bucks for this? Because that is not going to buy a whole lot of tree, even here.”

Chowder pulled a wad of crumpled bills out of his pocket. “She took it right out of the Sin Bin.”

“All right.” Dex sighed. “Well, we don’t have a lot to choose from…”

“This one,” Nursey said, standing in front of a sad-looking fir tree. Half of the branches were bare and there were several empty spots where limbs had been completely broken off.

“Really, Nurse? That’s barely worth five, much less ten. What about this one?” Dex was looking a slightly healthier looking specimen.

“No, man. This one. It’s right out of _Charlie Brown’s Christmas Special_ or something.”

“Chowder, which-“ Dex began.

Chowder’s eyes widened. “Charlie Brown’s tree,” he whispered. “The true meaning of Christmas. We have to get this one.”

“Fine.” Dex nudged Nursey out of the way and picked up the tree with one hand. A shower of needles fell to the ground. “Let’s go.”

*

“We’re putting it in that corner,” Holster said, pointing at the far corner.

“But there’s more room over there,” Ransom said, pointing at a spot on the opposite side of the room.

“No. This half of the room is for Jewish traditions. See?” He waved his hand at the menorah in the front window. “That half of the room can be for Christian symbology.”

“Pretty sure it was co-opted from pagan religions,” Ransom mumbled as he dragged the tree across the room.

“Pagan symbology co-opted by Christianity on that side, then,” Holster said.

“Shitty’d be proud, y’all,” Bitty said as he came into the room. “Now get that tree up so we can decorate it. The frogs back yet?”

“Haven’t heard Dex’s deathtrap rattling down the street yet,” Holster said.

Just then, they heard the familiar rattling rumble of an engine outside. “Speak of the devil,” Bitty said. “Lardo,” he called up the stairs, “they’re back!”

Lardo came down the stairs with a box just as Chowder and Dex walked through the front door, Nursey close behind them carrying a tree.

“Perfect,” she said. “Just leave it out on the porch, please.”

“Two trees?” Chowder asked. “Is one for outside? Because that’s a ‘swawesome idea. Will the one outside have lights? Because I don’t think we have any extension cords. But maybe you bought one while you were out shopping?”

“It’s not for us,” Lardo said. She handed the box to Bitty. “You guys cover the inside, me and the frogs will take care of the other one.”

“You got it,” Bitty said and went into the living room.

“Chowder, would you grab the bags by the door? We’ve got some decorating to do.”

“Who’s the tree for, Lardo?” Chowder asked as he picked up the two shopping bags. A box of shiny round ornaments stuck out of the top of one.

“The LAX bros. It’s going in their front yard,” she said. She put her coat on and zipped it up. “You get started on the decorations. Dex, Nursey, come with me.”

“But their front yard is full of snowmen playing a lacrosse game,” Chowder said

“Yes it is.”

“We’re giving the LAX bros a tree?”

“What do you need us for, Lardo?” Dex asked.

Lardo pulled on her hat and gloves. “I need help moving the catapult out of the back yard.”


End file.
